


tell me your thoughts and i'll tell you mine

by jebentnietalleen



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19329913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jebentnietalleen/pseuds/jebentnietalleen
Summary: Lucas ends up in the hospital after a wild night out, Eliott feels bad for his best friend and doesn't know what to do.





	tell me your thoughts and i'll tell you mine

There is nothing more depressing and haunting than waiting in a hospital corridor, Eliott is sure of it. He’s been sitting in the waiting area for hours now, and he is slowly but surely losing his mind. How the hell did they end up here? What did he ever do to piss off the universe so much that he is now waiting to go see his best friend in a fucking hospital bed? Not just his best friend… His everything, really. Fuck. He can’t do this. He just can’t. Tapping his foot on the ground over and over again isn’t enough, he can’t sit still anymore. Needs to walk. Needs to see Lucas, why can’t he just go and see him? There is a fire burning in the pit of his stomach and if he doesn’t get to see Lucas soon, he knows he is going to explode. He needs to be near him, to see that he is still breathing. He has so many things to tell him that he doesn’t even know where to begin, but it doesn’t matter because he will tell him everything, if he just. Can see him. 

Yann is talking to a nurse at the front desk. He hears certain terms and words like ‘family only’ and ‘almost’ and ‘unconscious’. He doesn’t like the sound of it, that’s for sure. He gets up just as Yann is making his way back to him. ‘What did she say?’ Eliott is too impatient for this, he needs to know. Yann sighs, his eyes look cloudy and his face has never looked more concerned. ‘She says that right now only family would be allowed inside. But if all goes well, we should be able to see him in about an hour. He’s still unconscious. Eliott… there really isn’t anything you could have done. Don’t beat yourself up like this’ His own face must look a lot like Yann’s, then. Betraying his emotions. Normally he would try and play it off, nod his head and say ‘you’re right’, but no. It was his fault, he could have done something, he should have seen it coming.   
Lucas had been drinking way too much, way too quick, yet all he could think of was getting up the courage to finally say something to him. To tell him that in the last couple of months, he realized that his friendship with Lucas was the most important thing to him in the world, and that maybe that meant that he wanted more than just friendship. If Lucas felt the same way. He was so caught up in his own head that he didn’t even notice the fact that Lucas had been more quiet than usual that night when they were pregaming at Yann’s place.

It wasn’t until they were at the club that he started to see that Lucas was already really drunk. Way too drunk for that time of night. Yann and Arthur went over to him to make him drink a glass of water but he pushed everybody away, yelling angrily that he could do what he wants now anyway because nobody cared about him, not only did his dad leave him, his mom was transferred to a different clinic. He was slurring a bit, but Eliott got the message: he felt like his parents weren’t there for him, and now that his mom was in a different city as well, he felt like he was alone.   
It broke his heart, hearing him say such things, especially because it was far from the truth. Even though his mom wasn’t physically there, she cared a lot about Lucas and Eliott knows that for sure. Lucas’ mom has always been very welcoming to him, inviting him over for dinners and the like before she was committed to the clinic. The way she talked about Lucas says it all: she loves him dearly. And rightly so. Besides his mom, Lucas had so many friends that care about him and love him. It saddens him that he doesn’t seem to know that, or that it somehow isn’t enough for him. It also makes the fact that he has been waiting to talk to Lucas about his feelings even more frustrating, he is angry at himself for not stepping up sooner. Lucas deserves to know that someone not only cares about him, but couldn’t imagine their life without him.   
When Lucas collapsed on the dancefloor, his heart sank in his chest. Everything from that moment on has been a blur of thoughts like: this can’t be happening right now and come on come on come on wake up and why the fuck do we have to wait so long, it’s the emergency room, shouldn’t that mean they help us right away? And now here they are, Lucas’ dad has been called because Lucas is still underaged, but of course he was too busy to come down here and see his own son. Asshole. Which means that Lucas has been lying in that room all alone, nobody at his side, because Yann and Eliott aren’t his family. Whoever decided that the definition of family is being a blood relative, really didn’t think things through. The nurse calls out to them, then, and a wave of relieve goes through him when she tells them that they can go see him, one at the time, but that he is not awake. Eliott looks at Yann, who claps his hand on his shoulder: ‘You go first. I’ll wait here’. Eliott couldn’t love Yann any more than he does at that moment, feels tears of gratitude swell up. He manages to blink them away for now, but knows they will be back as soon as he sees Lucas. ‘Thank you’ he whispers, walking towards the room. Lucas has his eyes closed, of course, and his hair is falling down his face a bit. He looks pale. 

Eliott approaches him slowly, sits down next to the bed. His righthand falls on Lucas’ automatically, he feels warm. Eliott follows the veins in his hand with his thumb, looking down at their hands. ‘You really scared me tonight, Lucas. I don’t think I have ever been this worried about anybody before. And the worst part is that I didn’t even see you were struggling until it was too late. What kind of a best friend am I, huh? I am so sorry for that. It’s just that I have been struggling with some stuff myself lately, although it probably sounds really stupid and trivial, it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.’ He glances up at Lucas’ face, still no response. Here it goes. ‘I think I’m in love with you. I’ve been such a mess lately and I know you’ve probably noticed that as well. I’ve been trying to distance myself a bit, to see what I was feeling really was more than friendship but I am pretty sure that a part of me has known for a very long time. And now I feel like the biggest jerk on the planet, because you probably thought I was pulling away from you. That’s not what I want, not at all, but I need to know how you feel first. You’ve got to wake up because I can’t do this without you. I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I don’t care. You mean the world to me. Just. Please.’ The tears are falling down his cheeks by now, he wipes at them aggressively with his free hand. Lucas’ hand twitches beneath his own, the movement makes Eliott sit up straight: ‘Lucas?’ his eyes open slowly, brow furrows: ‘Eliott? What- ugh. What’s going on?’ his voice sounds raspy, but he is awake. Thank God. ‘Oh man, Lucas, you scared me. You’re in the hospital, you got alcohol poisoning and passed out. Your stomach has been pumped and I only just got to see you.’ 

Lucas blinks wearily, and Eliott waits to see if the memories will come back to him. ‘Shit, I’m sorry. I blacked out. I didn’t eat enough yesterday and had a shit day, so I guess I just… tried to forget everything.’ Eliott pulls his chair closer to the bed. ‘Don’t be sorry. If anything, I should be sorry. I had no idea you were feeling like that, you told us that your mom is moving to another clinic and that... you feel like nobody cares for you because they all go away. That’s just not true, Lucas. And I know it’s not the same as having your parents close by, but your friends are all here for you. I am here for you. Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always. Please don’t do anything that scary ever again. I almost lost you, you could have gone too far or got into an accident-‘ Eliott stops when he feels Lucas’ eyes on his face, his expression soft and searching, a question lingers in his eyes. Eliott feels his checks heat up. Maybe he said too much. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asks instead, hoping to get away with it. Lucas seems to consider what to say next, his mouth twitching like it does whenever he is thinking. ‘I think I heard you talk to me just now, before I was fully awake. But I’m not sure if I was dreaming. Uhm. Before I say anything I will regret, was I dreaming?’ and this is it, then. This is the moment of truth. He can still back down now, stay in the safe zone of being the best friend. He takes a deep breath. No more running. ‘No, you weren’t.’ Lucas lets out a shaky breath, ‘Okay. Wow. Now I even feel more embarrassed. Eliott, the reason I felt so shitty wasn’t just because of my mom or my dad. You were right, I did think you were pulling away from me, and I was so scared, because. Because I also have feelings for you.’ They stare at each other for a minute, quietly taking each other in. Lucas is the first to smile: ‘We are such losers. Maybe next time we should just talk to each other before jumping to conclusions and doing something stupid.’ Eliott shakes his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. ‘Sounds like a plan. Would you like to do that? Continue to talk about this? Like, maybe. On a date?’ the look of fondness on Lucas’ face surprises him, yet seems so familiar all the same. ‘Yes, I’d like that. Let’s make it a date sans alcohol though. I don’t think I am ever going to drink again.’ Just like that they are joking again, and Eliott couldn’t be more relieved. ‘You know what? I think that can be arranged’

**Author's Note:**

> hi, come talk to me if you want on tumblr @jebentnietalleen


End file.
